Back to the drawing board

Well, I found out yesterday that we didn't get the house.  I guess that means it wasn't for us, so I'm moving on to the next one.  Strangely, a very similar one in the same area but cheaper showed up on the real estate site later last night - could it be a sign?  Who knows, will check it out on Monday :)

Yesterday was a big day - my lovely friends came over and helped me tackle more of the packing and sorting.  Mama Owlet and Unhindered applied themselves to the kitchen and got the vast majority of it done while myself, Dragonfly and Wanderlust sorted clothes.  We ended up with 7 garbage bags full of stuff to get rid of!  Later Geminy arrived and packed books while I sorted paper work and linen and then we tackled the garden and managed to get a fair chunk of that done too.  Geminy and Matangi will be here tomorrow too to really get into the garden.

Ianto and Anouke were exhausted by the end of the day, and there was many a melt down but an early night for us all fixed that.  Today I have a garage sale to deal with, so should start getting some of the stuff out of the shed!  My mum is taking Ianto for me so that he doesn't see people taking our stuff away and then we are heading down to my parents for dinner as tomorrow they will be cruising the Huon river with my grandfather who has now been in Australia for 60 years!

Still waiting

Still no word from the real estate agent about my application.  I ended up calling them in the afternoon and was told that the application is with the owner, so we are getting there.  I don't like waiting though!  I want to know and be able to start getting the move organised or look for some where else!

I spoke to my current property manager yesterday and the owner of this house has decided to sell it so a real estate agent came through to start organising an open home etc.  I'll be really glad when this unsettled period is over.

waiting waiting waiting...

Still waiting to hear back from the Real Estate agents, have managed to sort a lot of stuff out and have a lot to sell in the garage sale.  I'm taking a little break at the moment as Anouke has a snooze on my lap.  Working my way through the lounge room and have a fair bit of it done - I've decided to get rid of all my cooking magazines seeing as I never look at them and they way a tonne, as well as cook books I don't use and other books I don't read.  It feels great to have a growing pile of things that I don't need anymore and can potentially be sold.  It is quite liberating.
Looking at Anouke passed out on my lap, I can see that her hair (which although fine usually puffs up to an impressive degree) is actually quite long.  In these quiet moments I can smooth it down, work out the dreadlocks and small tangles, twist the little curls at the back of her neck around my finger.  I can gaze on the curve of her cheeks, impressively plump with strong muscles from breastfeeding as well as her delicious chub.  I can admire her eyelashes, not as long as her brothers, but a dark smudge that emphasises the translucence of her eyelids.  Her plump hands, with thier delicate bone structure almost hidden underneath the chubbiness which is such a feature of her.  Her fingers are long and she has inherited my grandmothers long, flexible thumb that can bend far enough to touch her wrist and often gets caught in the sleeves of her clothes.  She still has a most impressive paunch, enhanced by her birthmark - a brown patchiness that bisects her belly in a neat line at her naval and continues around to cover a bit of her back and down her leg to her foot - and which gets caught quite regularly on things when she tries to climb down off high surfaces like couches and tables, leaving her dangling by her belly with her feet pointing as her toes endeavour to reach the ground.  Her bottom  has become a distinct part of her rather than melding fairly seamlessly with her thighs and is incredibly squeezable.  It still wobbles delightfully as she runs around the house chasing her brother and inviting people to chase her.  As she runs she still has her little bowed legs a long way apart, partly to give her a good solid base of support and partly because of the cloth nappies she wears - although it is still very evident when she is nappy free!  She has inherited an interesting mix of feet - long and delicate bone structure like my mother and sister, with a long second toe, but her big toe is again all my grandmother.  Passed down through my father to myself and now my daughter this toe sticks up, almost involuntarily a lot of the time leading shoes to mold and wear out in odd places.  When I carry her on my back I can tell when she is asleep not only from her relaxing and breathing changes, but also because her big toe goes from sticking up in the air to being relaxed and in a resting state.

Getting rid of stuff

So in the end I decided to do a drive around some of the other places yesterday that fit the criteria and see if I could get an idea of what they were like from the outside.  Most of them were ok, but not great - including the one we could see inside.  The were all in blocks and didn't have yards, something which increases the stress level of living in them!  The one we looked in was lovely inside and would have worked for us, but not having a yard would have meant having to keep an eye on Ianto every time he went outside.  Not fun for anyone.  It would also have made the trampoline impossible to have at our place.

One however was in Huonville.  There were no pictures on the internet listing so I was prepared for it to be quite bad but it was lovely!  A 2 bedroom unit with an enclosed backyard and close to everything, pool, PCYC, supermarket, library...  Huonville is a good position for us too as it is about half way (time wise more than distance wise) between where Ianto and Anouke's dad lives, where my family live, and the school they are enrolled in.  I'm calling as soon as the real estate agent opens tomorrow morning to arrange an appointment to view it and apply for it.  Fingers crossed we can get it!

house hunting

I hate house hunting.  Especially with such restricted resources.  For us to be able to get a place we can afford we are are looking at tiny flats or the middle of nowhere.  I must say the one in the middle of nowhere is lovely, HOWEVER it is in the middle of nowhere...  Not far from the school Ianto is enrolled in, but it is isolated with no neighbours close by etc.  I found 4 places worth looking at, and to be honest most of them are borderline.

On the plus side the local wholefoods co op opens on Wednesday, so I'm hoping we will be able to save some money on decent food there.  

So I'm having a cup of tea in the sun and trying to get enthusiastic about looking at a tiny flat which is the only open house today.  Shopping needs to be done, house needs cleaning and  decluttering needs doing.   Hoping the cuppa provides some motivation...

Trust

Anouke and I attended a rally today in support of birth choices.  Certain changes the Australian Government is making in its Maternity Services Review basically mean that if women want a homebirth in the future they are most likely going to need the permission of an obstrician or their GP.  EXCUSE ME?  I will need permission to decide where and when (as in a hospital you are likely to be induced for any number of reasons) I use MY uterus and MY vagina to give birth?  Last time I checked I lived in a country where women supposedly had equal rights...  And last time I checked bodily autonomy was a basic human right...

I am not eloquent when I rant, so I'll leave that there.  I feel I have turned a bit of a corner with the housing dramas.  A friend has loaned me some money so that I can get rid of the debts hindering my applications, mum and dad have offered to help me out with a bond and if I have to pay two lots of rent for a while (which is a distinct possibility).  Another friend and her husband are coming up tomorrow with gardening implements to help me get the garden under control, and I have plans with other friends to get things packed up etc.  All that remains is to find a house to live in!  It is proving difficult to find one that I can afford, but I'm trying to trust that it will all fall into place.  I have a 3 weeks and 5 days left in this house, so really need to get organised!  I'm hoping to have a garage sale in a couple of weeks when mum and dad can look after Ianto for me and hopefully get rid of some crap and make a bit of cash.  Its scary to think that in a bit over 3 weeks we could be homeless, but I'm sure it will all fall into place, as I said, I just need to trust...

Days go by...

Had a minor meltdown yesterday - the spot I'm in at the moment just seems so overwhelming and a bit at the mercy of others.  I can't do x until y has happened, but y can't happen til z happens...  I did get some stuff done, talked to the Tenants Union to ensure I know what is going on with that me leaving here as my property manager can be a bit tricky to deal with.  Wrote a letter to my local MP telling him about the lack of facilities for helping people in tricky situations in Tasmania - on the big island I would have 3 or 4 avenues of support and help, here I have basically nothing...  Called the child support agency to see what is going on there - nothing apparently.  Still waiting to hear back from a real estate agent about a house to look at though.  I hate it when people don't return my calls, very unprofessional.
A friend is coming over today with her three kids for a play and a chat, a good enough friend that I don't feel the need to frantically clean up either lol.  Will be nice to see her as I haven't seen her since christmas time.  The small people will have a good time too, immersing myself in some chaos will be nice for a while.  I'll also be trying to get on top of some research into some of the dietary stuff the nutritionist recommended at some point, particularly phenols, what they are in and the affect they have...

Just another quiet Sunday at Mum and Dad's house.  We didn't get there until nearly midday because the small people didn't wake up til 9 and by the time we had breakfast, got showered, bathed and dressed it was quite late.  Dad and I disappeared for a while to pick up a trampoline I scored for free, unfortunately it has no padding over the springs, so it is under the deck until I can find some padding and a net to go around it.  Shouldn't be too hard, but its annoying to have a trampoline sitting under the deck that I can't use, ahem, that the small people can't use...
Mum's parents dropped in as they do every other Sunday and we sat out on the patio with a cup of tea.  At one point Anouke (who had been asleep on the couch inside) woke up and Dad brought her outside and she fell asleep on his lap again.  Not something she does very often at all!  And defintely not something she does with me, as if she is on my lap she can smell milk and thinks she is hungry!

Ianto was great today.  A lot calmer than usual and a lot less argumentative.  I have been playing a game with him where I catch him as he runs past and hold onto him and tickle him as he tries to escape - the Occupational Therapist recommended games like that to enable him to work off his excess energy and work out some of the sensory information that would otherwise overload him.  Combined with the small changes we have made to his diet (making sure he gets breakfast, no more bread) and our environment (having the play room organised) he was a different boy today.  I am under no illusions that we have found a miracle cure, but step by step we are getting there...

Lists, Lists, Lists...

After our appointments yesterday with the Occupational therapist and nutritionist we have some big changes to make.  The biggest being changing our diet  utilise the GaPS diet.  It is a fairly drastic change for us, and we will all do it, much easier to stop Ianto having 'illegal' foods if they just aren't in the house!
I also realised that we need to move.  I had planned on staying here another year, but with increased medical costs for Ianto, plus paying for studying, plus trying to get rid of debt we just can't afford it.
So I am going to be making lots of lists...  foods to phase out before we do the intro diet, stuff to get rid of so we can move to a smaller place, stuff to keep, things to do to make moving possible...  If I'm honest lists are just my way of procrastinating while seeming to be productive, but i'm sticking with it...

Baby steps

I was inordinately happy this evening because I managed to trick Ianto into taking his supplements - I mixed them into hot chocolate and put it in a sippy cup so he wouldn't smell anything.
He drank it!  I was so proud I rang mum and dad lol.  Tomorrow are the appointments with the occupational therapist and nutritionist, so a big day!
I tried to use mybudget.com.au to get some help with my finances today too.  That was a big fat bust.  Apparently because my fixed costs (rent and the rental payments for my computer) are 47% of my income their budget program can't find a workable solution.  Well duh is all I have to say to that.  Why did they think I was asking for help?!  So I'm rethinking my options.  My major cost at the moment is rent.  I can see two ways to reduce that - move in with mum and dad for a while, or get public housing...  Neither prospect is all that appealing if I'm honest, but the rent is one thing I can change and I have to do that...

On the plus side, mum told me this afternoon that my sister Rose has booked her flights back to Australia for the end of the year which has made me very excited and happy!

One down...

We had our first appointment with one of Ianto's 'treatment team' yesterday - our naturopath.  After asking a lot of questions (which I found helpful too as it clarified a lot of stuff for me as well) we settled on some fish oils and a product called Intestamine to help his digestive system.  The Intestamine has stuff like aloe vera, slipperly elm and glutamine in it.  Now I just have the problem of getting them into him!
Today we have an appointment with the GP to finalise referrals and then a day off tomorrow while Ianto is at his dads and the Occupational Therapist and Nutritionist on Friday...

Off for lunch with Nan today!

Just seriously for a moment

I often find it difficult to articulate why I hate pron, why it is wrong.  This sums it up pretty well for me.
I hate that it is so hard to explain the patriarchy to people sometimes because it is so very deeply ingrained in every part of society.

I'll be a post feminist in a post patriarchy.

Local Celebrity...

Last night we attended the final night of the local regatta with the Owlets.  The final night of the regatta involves a concert and fireworks, and Daddy Owlet was singing so we went along to support him and have a nice evening by the water.

During Daddy Owlet's set there were lots of kids running around and Ianto was running around with the 2 little owlets and some others.  After  Daddy Owlet was the Army Band.  Most of the small people sat down, but not Ianto.  He disappeared down to an old slip and promptly slipped on the algae and got a dirty wet bum.  So we headed back to the Owlets and took his pants off.  Step one on the route to local celebrity - be dressed in nothing but undies.

The Army Band was loud, which bothered Ianto a bit (I've spoken before about his sensitivity to loud noises) but after hiding under a blanket for a while he was off again.  Just playing on the steps and hanging on the hand rail to start with.  Then Anouke took off in the same direction and I went to get her back.  Ianto thought I was coming to get him and here comes Step Two - run away from your mother in a situation where she needs you to stay close and not a) interfere with the show about a hundred other people are watching and b) fall in the river.

Just as he ran away the Army band started a new song.  The Theme from Mission:Impossible.  I kid you not. In the quiet just before the song I saw him make a break for it and called out for him to come back.  Then the music started and he was off, accompanied by laughter and clapping from the crowd.  I gave Anouke to Mama Owlet and followed.  Somehow the ensueing chase managed to be in time with the music.  Ianto was loving it because he could hear the crowd laughing and in a few cases cheering for him.  I must admit it was kind of funny and I had a hard time keeping the smile of my face.

Both small people loved the fireworks.  Anouke was quite tired by that time, and ready for some booby and a sleep, but every time a firework went off she would stop and gaze at them.  On the way back to the car we had three or four times when people stopped Ianto to tell him how great he was.  One teenagers said to me "Aren't you going to discipline him?!"  Ummm, no!  We talked about not running away from me at the time and he got it and stayed close for the rest of the night, why should I punish him for just being 4?

All in all it was a great night and we had a wonderful time with the Owlets.  I took home two very tired small people and got a solid nights sleep as Anouke didn't even wake up for her feed at around 3am like she usually does.

This week is the start of our appointments for Ianto.  Today we head to the naturopath, tomorrow afternoon it is off the the GP to make sure all the referrals are in order to get the most possible covered by Medicare and on Friday we have the 2 big ones, the Occupational Therapist and nutritionist.  Here's to hoping that it is all worth it and has some positive results!

Studying again!

I have taken the plunge and enrolled in a doula course through Childbirth International.  I spent a lot of time yesterday studying (which is why there was no post!) and it felt really good.  Using my brain and learning more about something I am passionate about.  I hope to add Childbirth Educator, Post Partum Doula and Breastfeeding Counsellor to my qualifications over the next year or so too.  

So I'm feeling a bit more positive about everything now, I feel like I'm making steps.  

This is a big week for us - we have 3 appointments for Ianto which are all assessment ones so a few big days lined up...  I am hoping we get some answers and positive steps to take out of it.

The school we are enrolled in has postponed their opening for the year as he building work they are doing (the commercial kitchen, which is a vital part of the school) isn't finished which has given us a bit of leeway to get everything a bit more settled.

We are off to mum and dad's today for our usual Sunday, a quiet one with nothing in particular planned :)

An unexpectedly busy day!

Thursdays are always busier than other days.  It is the day that Ianto goes to visit his father, and the day that Amber and her daughters come to visit.  Yesterday Amber bought me a care package of food that was totally unexpected but, as you can probably imagine, gratefully recieved given the amount of bills I have next week!  A fridge full of fresh vegies and staples like brown rice, pasta and milk mean that I can go longer with out shopping and still feed my family healthy, filling food.  Then after I had collected Ianto I got a phone call from Jerry, a friend I met through an x and I haven't seen for over a year.  He took us out for dinner and ice cream and we ended up playing in the park til it got dark.  We all had a wonderful time.  It isn't something we get to do very often, and with someone like Jerry who doesn't mind chasing after the kids every once in a while it is actually fun!
By the time we got home the small people were zonked, but cos they had a nap in the car thought they weren't...  Anouke started her walking around and around and around thing - circuits of the coffee table until she is exhausted and Ianto collapsed on the couch watching a movie.  After Jerry left and I got Anouke asleep, I came out to the lounge to discover Ianto passed out on the couch!

We also had a sleep walking episode where Ianto went to the toilet by himself but then headed into the lounge instead of the bedroom and then woke up there.  He was understandably scared waking up in the dark lounge room rather than his warm bed and needed rescuing!

feeling blah...

Sigh.  this coming fortnight is going to suck.  Internet bill is due (and expensive *blush*), D has three appointments that are expensive because they are assessment appointments ($60+$170+$70) and that leaves us with NOTHING.  The rent will be paid, there will be food (although we may need to go to the salvos for help there...) and there will be power, but it sucks still.
I am discovering that I am way too used to getting instant gratification.  I KNOW that in six months time we will be out of debt and things will start being easier, but in the meantime this sucks.  I can't do anything about my debt this week because all the money is going on medical stuff which is annoying.  I need a new vacuum cleaner cos mine doesn't suck properly anymore, and I want to do my Childbirth Education/Doula course now rather than in 6 months time.  I have been putting it off for way too long.  I have wanted to do it since before Anouke was even thought of, so way over 2 years, but because x always spent the money on pot and crap we never had any money spare for it.  Even when we got the baby bonuses when the small people were born.  Sucks, sucks, sucks.
And because I felt like crap yesterday the house is a mess cos I couldn't be bothered cleaning it up.

On the plus side in an effort to do something positive instead of just wallowing in feeling crap I opened a new savings account with higher interest and have committed to putting money in there, even if it is only $1 a fortnight.  I realised (with a bit of help from mum) that I can talk to the student union at the uni about doing some typing work for students.  There are options available.  I also decided that I will start doing my course,  I can pay for it in monthly installments so one fortnight will pay for the course and the other will pay off my debts.  The debts will take a bit longer to pay off this way, but I will be doing something for myself that I have been wanting to for ages, so I'm hoping that will help keep me on track.

There's the green sheep!

Mum and Dad came over yesterday to not celebrate Ianto's birthday.  It was a quiet enough day until my grandparents dropped in.  That was enough people to tip him over the edge and into tantrum territory.  He ended up in the bedroom having quiet time watching something on the computer.  He came out as they were leaving for some reason and mmy grand father made the mistake of looking at him.  Sigh.  Cue tantrum and grandfather standing there looking at him which of course only made it worse.  Mum and my grandmother telling him and telling him to leave Ianto alone and nothing sinking in *rolleyes*.  In the end I had to pick Ianto up and take him hysterical to his room.  I knew there was a reason we didn't do a birthday party for him.  On the up side the Green Sheep cake he requested came out awesome!

Ianto ended the day by scaling the back fence and visiting the neighbours.  I had no idea until they bought him back...  Looks like I'll need a 6 foot fence to keep him in...