3 years on, loneliness and the value of a good wallow

This week marks three years since my relationship with x ended.  A lot has happened in that three years, and I have grown a lot.  Many things have come up over the years and I have reached a place of contentment with my life in general. 
One of the big struggles I have found at various times of being an attachment parent by myself and that I am finding difficult at the moment is loneliness. 

I am not alone by any stretch of the imagination - I have the smalls obviously, and many friends who are as close as family and of course my family - but I don't have intimacy with anyone and that is what I crave.  Not all the time.  It comes and goes in waves and I can go for a very long time without it bothering me but every now and again it hits with almost overwhelming force and I retreat. 

I react in much the same way as I have to breakups, I  find eating difficult, sleeping difficult and interacting with others difficult. 
Looking after myself becomes strange, I want to shower more and wear things I know make me look good while at the same time I would like nothing more than to curl up in bed and read or listen to soppy romances in my pj's with endless cups of tea. 

Previously when this has hit I have joined internet dating sites, gone on new friend making missions and generally tried to fix the problem (before breaking up with x the 'solution' I came up with was to jump into a new relationship straight away). 

This time I have wallowed.  I have whinged and whined to friends.  I have cried.  I have tortured myself listening to many romantic audiobooks.  And you know what?  I am coming out the other side with more awareness of myself and the way I think.  I know that it is normal to want intimacy from someone that doesn't expect anything in return (cuddles from smalls are lovely, but require me to give more than I recieve).  I know that I am filling up my time without children with socialising and volunteering because I need the interaction with people that is just for me and that is ok.  It is the same way that my father reacts to my mother being away too.  And I know it is ok to feel lonely.  It is ok to feel sad.  Its ok to feel angry/depressed/whatever.