moving the blog

http://luckydipdays.dreamwidth.org/

To get away from the google machine a bit I've moved to dreamwidth. 

All or nothing/being in the moment

I was pondering this in the car today.  I do a lot of things all or nothing.  If I'm going to do something and I fall down on one part of it then I throw the whole lot in.  This happens particularly with parenting I have noticed.  The day can start off fine, with every one happy and in a good mood but if one grumpy thing happens then I carry that with me for the rest of the day.  I've shouted once so I might as well continue shouting.  I've lost my cool once so I might as well just stay grumpy.  Its a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy and really quite counterproductive!  Why would I want to stay grumpy?! 

A more productive and harmonious way to go about the day would be to stay in the moment and take each moment as it comes.  When a tantrum happens, deal with it, reconnect and move on.  On days when I manage that tantrums happen less, things flow better and life is easier.

The trouble is, realising this and putting it into practice are very different.  The reality is that I am a single mother.  90% of my time at least is spent just me, a 4 year old and a 21 month old.  It takes energy to answer a gazillion "why?" questions with patience and good will.  It takes energy to sit with Ianto and reconnect with him when he has just hurt Anouke because she ruined his game.  It takes energy to support Anouke through a day when she is tired and cranky because she hasn't slept well/is teething/is sick/is developing a new skill and the only way she has to tell me this is by following me around whining. 


All of this takes energy, and recognising that the energy investment will be worth it - that takes energy too.  And to be honest, I don't seem to have that energy!  I am making plans to try and make sure I get the little bit of quiet time I need.  Our future housing plans mean that I should be able to take 5 or 10 minutes a day when it is just quiet, or at least once a week.  I plan to try and go for a walk every day as often as I can to get out in the fresh air and get some exercise.  I plan to turn the computer off more often during the day and interact with the small people more often and more completely.  I have all these plans and I plan to try and start implementing them now when I can.  Hopefully I can remember that energy invested now will be repaid by energy not needed later...

We had a holiday

A couple of weeks ago now, but what can I say?  I'm a slack blogger.  We headed up to Lismore to stay with Kestrel for a few days.  Glorious, sun filled, relaxing days with good friends and many children playing together.  We spent a day at Byron Bay soaking up the sun, walked around the lighthouse and had ice cream.  We visited the car boot market and bought lots of bright colourful clothes for ourselves while Ianto had a massive tanty lol.  Kestrel was wonderful and it was so great to see her after a year or so.  Hopefully this will become a fairly regular thing because we came back refreshed and ready to go again.
We also spent a couple of days in Melbourne.  Hung out with Aunt S at the zoo and dragged Ianto all around the Aquarium before getting on the plane back home.  The small people loved seeing all the animals and fish.  The elephants and penguins were probably the favourites, although the Aslans were up there as well!

Speaking of Aslans, Ianto has an imaginary family now - a mummy Aslan, a daddy Aslan and 2 baby Aslans.  They only come out when he is feeling a bit insecure but I figure that is how he is dealing with it and it works so why argue? 


Spring has sprung yesterday - we have a clean house and a big vase of daffodils from the garden brightening up the kitchen.  The mornings are starting to be clear and bright and sunny with the promise of summer days not too far away.