Olive, caper and spinach pasta

you need - olives, capers (not usually on my shopping list, but left over from Christmas), olive oil, garlic, spinach, fresh parsley and ham or bacon if you have it.

I chop together the olives, capers and garlic til they are pretty fine, shred the spinach and ham/bacon.
Heat a pan and add a good slug of olive oil, fry everything except the spinach and parsley.
When everything is cooked (ham/bacon is crispy and the smell is divine) turn off the heat and throw in the spinach til it wilts and crisps up a bit.
Mix with cooked pasta, and put the parsley on top.  Add parmesan cheese if you like it.

Anouke and I love this quick and easy dinner.  It feels light so is not a struggle to eat on hot days and it feels like a treat as olives and capers are not usual shopping list staples.

Sometimes the Lucky Dips throws up some not so good...

Like yesterday...  we started out alright but by the end of the day Ianto was off the show.  We had friends come to visit so the sensory overload kicked in at some point.  I really need to find a better way of dealing with it.  After our friends left he became very demanding, but also quite hyperactive.  It was also a hot day (for us anyway - about 28 C).  Because we had people here Anouke didn't sleep in the middle of the day as she usually does and then when she did fall asleep, Ianto needed his bum wiped and as she was sleeping on my lap she got woken up.  So by the end of the day every one was hot, tired and very cranky, which led to some not so stellar parenting moments.  I find wednesday nights quite stressful anyway, as I am very aware of the fact that we need to leave at 9.45 to get Ianto to his dad's place for the day.  If he doesn't go to sleep before 10pm then he won't be up in time and of course he is never asleep before 10pm.  Looks like he will be going in his PJ's today!

I also recieved my new phone yesterday - the one I have been using is about 8 years old.  It still works fine, but only gets the old reception network which doesn't work as far south as we will be living eventually and going a lot in 2010 when Ianto starts pre-kinder.  So I have a new phone that also has the net and tv and a walkman and a camera...  Which means I will start to get some photos of stuff up here eventually!  I often end up sitting in the car waiting for Ianto and Anouke to wake up so having something to do will make it less boring lol.

Chicken recipes and solution for a fussy eating boy

Today would normally be a day that we go and have lunch with my Grandmother.  Unfortunately she has had the stomach bug that is going around so has told us to stay away this week.  Its a pity because I really enjoy our Wednesday lunches,and I love the fact that my children have a good relationship with their great grandparents.
So its another day at home for us, which isn't too bad as I really do need to tidy up the house a bit!

I think I mentioned the other day being inspired by Wild Kitchen and her budget meals.  Well when I went shopping I found whole chickens on special (labeled 'Festive Chickens' so left over from Christmas) and went to town on it!  I roasted it on Monday night, stripped the carcass yesterday and froze the rest of the meat and made stock from the bones.

My Roast Chicken Recipe
1 chicken
butter
garlic
favourite herbs and spices
olive oil
salt and pepper

I seperate the skin from the breast meat (have the chicken so that its bottom is facing you, put a spoon between the skin and the meat and work it loose) and put some butter underneath the skin.
Peel some garlic and place in the cavity - I don't stuff anything else in a chicken or any other bird.   I watched a Jamie Oliver program recently that pointed out that if you put stuffing in a bird the heat can't get into the cavity and it takes longer to cook.
drizzles some olive oil over the skin and sprinkle with your favourite herbs and spices and the salt and pepper.    I used oregano, basil and a delicious smoked chilli a friend brought me back from Chile.
Whack it in the oven at 180 C for about 25 minutes per 500 grams.  I use a meat thermometre to tell when it is done - when the temp is about 80 C when you stick the thermometer between the thigh and the breast it is done.

This was so moist and tender.  I know there seems to be a lot of fat in it when you shove butter under the skin, but it all melts and just keeps the meat really tender - most of it ends up in the tray underneath.

'Gravy' from pan juices
I didn't have any Gravox, so made a sort of 'gravy' by making a roux with the pan juices and some flour then adding warm chicken stock and seasoning.  It was a bit floury, so I'll probably use less flour next time, but it made HEAPS so I have frozen the left overs.  It'll make a great pasta bake sauce or other similar uses.

Chicken Stock

1 Chicken carcass
carrots
onions
garlic
pepper corns
sea salt
parsley

I preheated the stock pot with a bit of olive oil and cut the onions in half.  I also peeled the garlic and chopped the carrots into thirds.  I then put them in the stock pot to cook slightly and caramelise a bit.  I find this gives a better flavour.
While the  vegies were caramelising, I whacked the chicken bones with my big knife - this cracks the bones and enables you to take aadvantage of all the delicious goodness in the marrow.
Once the vegies had a bit of colour I put in the chicken and filled the stock pot with water.  Once the water heated I turned it down as low as it could go and left it with the lid on for the day.  I have it so low that the water doesn't move, but is still really hot.  If the water isn't moving you get a clearer stock as the impurities don't get jostled out of the ingredients.  I could do it hotter and clarify it, but that requires a lot of eggwhites and mince that you can't eat afterwards, so seems like a huge waste to me!
I let it cool overnight and today I'll portion it up and freeze it.

So out of that one chicken I have 8 - 10 packages of chicken meat in the freezer, about 10 litres of chicken stock (so about 10 meals there too) and 3 packages of the 'gravy' that will make 3 meals too.  So potentially21 ish meals out of one chicken!  I won't get that many of course, because I'll combine some of them I'm sure, but it will keep me going for quite a while!

I also tried something new with Ianto yesterday - instead of waiting for him to be hungry, I filled his lunch box with healthy snacks and put it where he could get it.  He didn't eat all of it, but it was a lot less stressful when he could just go and get his own food.  Interestingly, he wasn't saying he was hungry as much either.  So that is definitely something I will be repeating!  One of the major things that stresses me out is that every time I try to do something he is asking me for food and I think I have found the solution :)

Being in the moment

One of the key factors of enjoying lucky dip days.  Being present in the here and now, trying not to be caught up in what needs to be done, what happened an hour ago, what you are doing tomorrow.  Sure, you need  to be aware of these things (although letting go of the past is another lesson for another post), but hen they start to dominate your thinking and being is when it becomes frustrating to deal with nearly 4 year olds and 1 year olds.

Small people this age live in the now.  Ianto is starting to get  a sense of time and how it works, but still lives predominately in the now.  Tomorrow is creating some fun conversations around here because of this tendency!  It is a lot easier to tell him what day things are happening on rather than saying such and such is happening tomorrow- tomorrow never comes!  Anouke is all about the now - she is able to wait for things a bit, but generally speaking she has no idea of 'then'.

If we as adults let go of 'then' and 'next' and most especially 'should', parenting in general - and especially solo parenting - becomes a lot easier.  Because really, there are not that many things that HAVE to be done RIGHT NOW.  I discovered this yesterday - big plans were made in the morning and by 8 am they were all out the window - the small people were still asleep!  So I decided to let it all go.  I decided that there was only one thing that HAD to be done at some point in the day, and that was the grocery shopping (pretty much literally nothing left in the cupboard lol!).  So when Anouke woke up she and I wandered out the the lounge room and pottered about, she played with the dolls house, we read a story, I checked my blogs, we had a bit of breakfast...  When Ianto woke up later we got dressed and did the shopping.  Actually, Anouke and I got dressed, Ianto didn't put any clothes on until we got to the supermarket, and then it was only trousers.  Once we got home, the shopping sat unpacked in the kitchen for a good hour or so until the small ones were happy and settled.  And to be honest, I can't remember how the rest of the day went!  I know I got a chicken roasted (should get quite a few meals out of it too!) and made a chocolate cake (that flopped - mixed it with the left over ice cream from christmas for treats later on) and brownies, but that is about it.  Late in the afternoon Dad came over to mow the lawn which means stopping everything to watch - both Ianto and Anouke love watching the mowing, partly because it is a machine that makes noise, and partly because they adore Grandad :).

I had intended to get some washing done, tidy up the playroom and shift some furniture around, and generally tidy up, but you know what?  It will all be there today, and tomorrow, and the next day.  And that is fine, because the work will wait while I show my children a rainbow, but the rainbow won't wait for me to finish the work.

So live in the moment, enjoy your small people while they are small.  Take advantage of every offered kiss, cuddle, grin and tickle opportunity.  Let go of the stuff that will wait.  It will keep you sane, your small people happy and make you life richer.

Self Regulation and Baby Led Solids

Two things in my arsenal that have saved my sanity!

  Self regulation is a new one for me.  Ianto had always had a bed time, and it had always been a struggle.  It got worse when Anouke was born as I was the only one who could get him to sleep and obviously Anouke needed me too.  In theory we should have been able to work around this as there were 2 parents at that stage, but that is a whole other story!  After I embraced the life of a single mother, things changed slowly.  The first big bedtime change was that Ianto joined myself and Anouke in the family bed.  Previously he had been sleeping in his own room at the other end of the house and it was just too difficult to settle him for sleep and deal with any night time wakings when it involved getting out of bed, walking to the other end of the house, squatting beside him and calming him down... Plus it would inevitably happen right when Anouke needed a feed...  So we all snuggled into the one bed and I would spend hours singing the 2 of them to sleep.  I would be hoarse and exhausted and we would all be stressed.  Slowly this has changed, helped by living at 42 degrees south which means that at this time of year it is nearly 10 pm before it gets dark and I usually forget the time!  Now there is no set routine around bedtime as there is no bedtime.  When Anouke starts to get tired I wander off to the bedroom and lie down with her and feed her.  Usually she will pass out within minutes because she is tired and actually ready for bed.  Ianto isn't usually ready at the same time and he will either potter around with his toys in the play room or join us in the bedroom and watch something on the computer.  Usually he just falls asleep next to me when he is ready.

Allowing them to self regulate when they go to sleep has lead to Ianto learning what he feels like when he is tired and he will now express that and request to be able to sit and have some quiet time if he needs it.  He also just goes to sleep and wakes up when he is ready.  It has made a huge difference - we are no longer arguing about him going to sleep, and I'm sure it is nicer for him to go to sleep after a relaxed evening than after a shouty one!  Anouke has never been sleep trained so still follows her natural cues and automatically self regulates - and is a very happy baby.

At first I thought that letting them self regulate bedtime would mean that I got no time to myself, but to be honest, I get it in the mornings when they both sleep til at least 8.30, usually longer.  Sometimes I will get up after they are asleep, but mostly I just want to read in my alone time anyway so being snuggled between my small ones is no drama - in winter especially it is lovely to have 2 warm small people making sleepy noises beside me as I snuggle down with a good book!

The next self regulation challenge is watching stuff on the computer.  I got rid of the tv as it was just on all day, but as Ianto is used to it (having watched things on it since he was tiny) it is still his first port of call when he is bored.  If he does watch it constantly he gets very angry and frustrated easily as he is not using up any energy.  So I'm hoping if I stop dictating how much he can watch, he will stop wanting to so much.  This involves a change in my behaviour as well, as I know if I go outside and do things the kids will too and if I am more present rather than trying to do stuff and hoping they entertain themselves then he is less likely to resort to tv and computer games to entertain himself.

I have also done baby led solids with Anouke - basically letting her choose when and whether she has solid food instead of breast milk.  This has meant that at 13 months she is only just starting to want more than a taste of solid food, but she eats a huge variety as she is used to getting different flavours through my breast milk.  Her immune system is great and she is certainly not wasting away - being already the size her brother was at 18 months!  It has also saved me the fuss and bother of mush.  She pretty much just has what is on my plate and is very good at picking what she is and isn't able to handle at her stage of development.

It really is amazing how much we and our children know when we start to trust ours and thier instincts.

The first of our Lucky Dip Days

So today we embark on our first true Lucky Dip Day.  We have been doing Christmas stuff every day for a while and this is the first day we have had at home with no plans for nearly a week.  A day of catching up on housework, a bit of baking, a bit of reorganising...  The fortnightly shop got postponed due to Christmas so the cupboard is almost literally bare so shopping will have to come into it somewhere.  At the moment the small ones are both asleep so I'm enjoying the quiet, uninterrupted time I have with the computer lol.

I have asked a couple of my friends about Ianto over the last couple of days.  One suggestion I was given to help Ianto and improve his diet was fish oil.  As the one I really wanted to buy was REALLY expensive, we had to go with one from the supermarket - I let him choose which one he wanted, explained that it would help his brain work and grow (usually telling hims something will make his body/brain grow will get him eating it).  Do you think he would take it?  Nup.  So now I have to find a way to hide orange flavoured fish oil in his food.  Sigh.  I also got a mineral supplement for him - another suggestion was that as he eats a lot of salty foods maybe he is lacking in some minerals - and that won't pass the 'Ianto wants to eat it' test either.  More sigh.  I've been reading Wild Kitchen (see the blog roll) and she has some great recipes etc that I will be incorporating into our way of eating as I try and find the best way to get some better foods into our diet.
Anouke is easy, she eats just about anything - I've nearly lost my fingers a couple of times over Christmas offering her fetta or brie!  She does have champagne tastes however - her favourite Christmas meals were crayfish (aka lobster), smoked salmon and brie pizza, and I had to fight her off the cheese plate on Christmas Eve - fetta, brie, olives, goats cheese, smoked cheese...  All disappearing!

Inspiration hits...

My resolution for next year was to make it one of change. Last year was one of great upheaval for myself and the small ones. A few months in my partner and I seperated, so 2009 was stressful for all of us, particularly Ianto who at 3 was quite aware of the fact that his Dad was not around any more. Things have settled down on that front though, so we are moving onwards and upwards into the new year.

Some clarity has been gained recently into Ianto - piecing together the various elements that I notice about him and his behaviour. He has always been an intense little man, not hugely cuddly, prone to sensory overload and generally requiring a lot of energy and attention. Some of it is I'm sure just his wonderful personality - he is also very intelligent and articulate, co-ordinated and sure - some of it is a result of being exposed to various aspects living with an addict and some I get the feeling is something else. I have come to a place where I realise I need input from others to help me to help him, as the strategies I have in my arsenal at the moment are insufficient and not working. So once the Silly Season is over we are heading to the GP (how nice is it to have found a GP who homebirthed his children and coslept with them and is comfortable with attachment parenting?!) to hopefully get a referral to see an Occupational Therapist.

Anouke, being one, will be heading into a massive year of change as well :) She started walking on her first birthday and is now zooming around. Taking the first step also seemed to trigger other developmental things for her and her babbling is starting to increase and take on a more understandable tone. She will happily wander off and entertain herself 'cooking', 'shopping' and generally pottering around. In the last week she has suddenly started to not be satisfied with breastmilk alone and has started sharing meals with Ianto and I and now has her own sippy cup that she carries around.

Watching them change and grow is inspiration in itself, but looking over the things they were given for Christmas was hugely inspirational as well. My parents and I conspired to get them a dolls house, loving built by Grandad :) and their paternal grandmother gave them a houseful of dolls and furniture which we are all enjoying arranging and rearranging. Various other wooden and stimulating toys, books and games have markedly improved the quality of toys that is available to them now, so Monday will mark a day of reorganising the playroom! And by default the rest of the house lol... I'm also going to get rid of a lot of the toys they have that they don't play with - way too many teddy bears, various small plastic toys that have somehow accumulated... That may have to wait until Ianto is visiting his Dad on Thursday though. Much as I don't like the idea of getting rid of his things without him knowing, discussion around this sort of thing doesn't generally work with him. He gets very rigid about how the world should be and one of the ways the world should be is that nothing that has ever been his can ever be taken away. Weighing up the benefits of the new playroom with toys that are better for him vs the benefits of spending all day getting him to understand why some toys need to go has lead me to the decision to just do it while he isn't here. The explaination would be stressful for both of us, and would probably end in meltdown and shouting so we will try and avoid that!

For myself there are a few changes that will be made - eating better, for my own health and also the health of the small ones. Ianto tends to live on highly processed white foods which is not good and probably contributes to the stuff I mentioned earlier. I also have a lot of work to do on myself emotionally and psychologically. Moving forward to a place where I have a stronger sense of self and boundaries than I do at present and repairing the damage from stuff that happened in the past. Hopefully there will be a move involved to the country. Ianto starts Kinder in 2011 and the school he is down for is a 45 minute drive from where we currently live - not really practical, environmental or economical! There is a lovely little community 5 minutes from the school though and I have friends and family who live down that way too. 2010 will also be the year that I erase a lot of debt from my life and start studying to be a Childbirth Educator and Doula. I am passionate about birth and am really looking forward to getting my teeth sunk in to something that inspires me.

Not bad for my first post, here's to keeping it up!