Time off

I am gonna admit it - Thursdays are wonderful.  Thursdays are the day that Ianto goes to his dad's or 6 hours.  So it is quiet at home.  I can spend some time one on one with Anouke without worrying about his reaction (jumping in too roughly, getting jealous, 'needing' something so that I have to pay attention to him too).  And  Ianto gets one on one attention from his Dad.  Both small people love it too.  Ianto loves seeing his dad and doing stuff with him and Anouke loves having free range of the toys lol.

One of the major things about being a single parent is the lack of support - the constantness of eing the only parent.  It is easy to think "I should just go back to him, at least then I'd have some one else around to help".  Then I remember.  He didn't help.  He was either in the computer room playing games that 'couldn't be paused', watching tv or smoking pot.  There was no help with house work and parenting help was minimal.  So in the end it is actually easier now.  However, it is nice to have a break every now and again.

I find 'me time' as and where I can.  The couple of hours before they wake up in the mornings are special.  I love early morning light, the quiet outside broken only by bird call, the cool before the day warms up in summer, sitting in front of the fire in winter...  I blog, I check my forums and blogs, have a shower by myself and maybe a cup of tea...  Sundays we go to my parents for sunday lunch and both small people love my parents so off they go and I get a chance to read a book...
These small moments I treasure.  They give me a chance to get my breath, set myself up for the day and week.  Thursdays are my midweek chance to catch my breath and find my center again.  It sets me up for being a better mama and happier person.