feeling blah...

Sigh.  this coming fortnight is going to suck.  Internet bill is due (and expensive *blush*), D has three appointments that are expensive because they are assessment appointments ($60+$170+$70) and that leaves us with NOTHING.  The rent will be paid, there will be food (although we may need to go to the salvos for help there...) and there will be power, but it sucks still.
I am discovering that I am way too used to getting instant gratification.  I KNOW that in six months time we will be out of debt and things will start being easier, but in the meantime this sucks.  I can't do anything about my debt this week because all the money is going on medical stuff which is annoying.  I need a new vacuum cleaner cos mine doesn't suck properly anymore, and I want to do my Childbirth Education/Doula course now rather than in 6 months time.  I have been putting it off for way too long.  I have wanted to do it since before Anouke was even thought of, so way over 2 years, but because x always spent the money on pot and crap we never had any money spare for it.  Even when we got the baby bonuses when the small people were born.  Sucks, sucks, sucks.
And because I felt like crap yesterday the house is a mess cos I couldn't be bothered cleaning it up.

On the plus side in an effort to do something positive instead of just wallowing in feeling crap I opened a new savings account with higher interest and have committed to putting money in there, even if it is only $1 a fortnight.  I realised (with a bit of help from mum) that I can talk to the student union at the uni about doing some typing work for students.  There are options available.  I also decided that I will start doing my course,  I can pay for it in monthly installments so one fortnight will pay for the course and the other will pay off my debts.  The debts will take a bit longer to pay off this way, but I will be doing something for myself that I have been wanting to for ages, so I'm hoping that will help keep me on track.