Inspired

The landscape is speaking to me at the moment.  Midwinter and it is so changeable!
Last night driving home from mum and dads as the sun went down behind the mountain.  Orange/red clouds behind the mountain, purple smudges of lower clouds and the sky so very blue behind it.  The mountains around here are so much a part of my sense of place in the world.  The only time I haven't been able to look out my windows and see mountains is when I lived overseas and I felt it at a very subconscious level.  Mount Wellington is an anchor of sorts, orientating me in the countryside, even when I am at home - a few valleys away and out of sight of it.  It is also a reminder of one of my best friends, Kestrel.  Last year when I kicked out x and needed someone to catch me, Kestrel did.  I landed in her home and soaked up the chaos and family and love there and it calmed my soul and helped smooth the way for me.  Not long after life took Kestrel and her family to another state entirely but watching the mountain and its many moods never fails to remind me of the cups of tea in her kitchen, nestled at the foot of it.
Now that we have moved back to the Huon Valley where I grew up it is the Hartz and Sleeping Beauty that I see most often.  The Hartz peeks up over the hills down river and gives an indication of the weather.  Many times I have watched the rain work its way from the Hartz and up the opposite side of the river.  Most often staying there.  There hasn't been much snow on it this year but on a crisp clear morning you can often see its white cap against the brilliant blue sky...
Sleeping Beauty dominates the landscape as you leave the Huon and was the feature of many fairy tales in my head as I grew up.  Her face can be shrouded in cloud, dusted with snow or just lying there, perfectly serene under a crystal clear sky.  She can be camoflagued against a dark grey cloud or disappear completely.  I occupied myself on many drives to town imagining different stories for her and I still catch myself doing it now.


The other thing that anchors me in the landscape is the prescence of water.  Another thing that has been a constant throughout my life has been a river near by, either the Huon or the Derwent.  The Derwent bringing a cool sea breeze on hot summer days, just when the heat becomes unbearable.  Watching the rain come across the Derwent, lightening on the opposite hills, dolphins and seals and once a labrador!  It is still a source of joy when we visit mum and dad and go down to throw rocks in the water, collect shells and smooth bits of glass, or in summer wait til the sun goes down a bit and go for a swim.
The Huon is the river of my childhood and present.  Each morning I can look out my kitchen window and see a hint of what the day might bring.  Fog often sits on the river til late in the day and sometimes around the house too.  On the days when there are just wisps of fog on the river and a frost on the lawn I know the day will be crisp and clear and beautiful.  I know as we drive into Huonville we are likely to see the river smooth as glass on days like that.  At the moment it is full, flooding some of the low lying paddocks on its banks.  It looks slow and langorous but looks are deceptive.  Underneath it is deep and the current strong.  There is a tree in the river about half way to Huonville and it has been stuck there for a couple of months now, not moving.  I find it amazing - to have not moved it must be a fairly large tree and all you can see sticking up is a single, thick branch.  Still waters do indeed run deep!

Crafty Friday

Well, it is supposed to be, but what with one thing and another getting around 10 kids aged between18 months and 7 doing anything resembling organised craft is difficult! 
We attempted it today, but it didn't happen again.  The Snowflakes and Ianto weren't getting along all that well, and various other participants slept in so in the end we spent the afternoon at the park in Huonville.  It was a good call on the part of Mrs Ogg.  Neutral territory and nothing huge in the way of arguments all afternoon.  It was every so slightly freezing for us mamas, but we dealt with it lol.

We are hoping next week to have enough people organised at the same time to take advantage of the huge amount of boxes sitting in the hall.


In the meantime, I have 10 kg of clay sitting in front of me that I am planning on using to make a scale model of the house I would like to build.  I am finding it hard to draw plans in 2 dimensions, and was planning a vision board anyway - building a scale model seems like a pretty good way to combine the two.  Having a 3D diorama of what I want should keep me in line and on the right path to achieving it I hope!

One perfect moment

I just stepped outside to grab my phone that I had left in the car yet again.  It is 10.30 at night, in July.  It is cold out there, but wow.  I had flicked on the outside light so that I could see my way to the car and normally it would have been a quick run out to the car and back to the warm house and bed but I just happened to look up.

And there I stayed.  On the deck, in my pjs, in the perfect, crisp night.  I looked up, the sky was perfectly clear - the Milky Way looking just like a splash of hot milk, the stars pin pricks, only the sounds of frogs from the dam over the back paddock to disturb the peace.  For one perfect moment I stood and soaked up the perfection and then retired back into the warm, followed by a sense of peace and calm...

Opps, its been a while!
Although there is not a lot going on.  We have found a pretty good rhythm now of days at home and days out doing things.  Trying to strike a balance between socialising and having time to regather ourselves and find our centre.  The consideration that housework needs doing occasionally comes in too, but getting on top of that is still a work in progress lol.  I'm in the process of washing the carpets and rearranging the furniture to see if I cn streamline the way we live in the house a bit more, especially as now that it is cold we are living on the inside more. 

I have started menu planning to try and get the food costs under control and it worked last fortnight.  We are heading out to the supermarket today so I'm hoping it will work again

We spent the day yesterday at Hastings Thermal Springs with some other families.  It was cold, but the pool was nice and warm.  Ianto was in with me while Mama Ogg looked after Anouke and went back in after lunch with Daddy Snow and the three snowflakes as well.  He had a wonderful time even if he did tell me through chattering teeth that he wasn't cold!  A stint in front of the open fire provided in the BBq shelter fixed that though and he spent the rest of the day running around chasing currawongs in his Spiderman dressing gown.  Anouke had a wonderful time shouting at them and despite deciding the pool was too cold tried to jump in a couple of times.  Thank goodness for having a lot of parents around to keep an eye on all the kids! 

It was a fun day and we are hoping to plan more group outings like it.  Its nice to get all the families together including fathers who are so often missing when we get together during the week as they earn the money that means the mothers can stay home.  I think it is also good for Ianto and Anouke to see fathers who are true partners to their wives and take an active role in being part of the family.

Touched out

Not a lot to report this week.  Ex has had his days off change yet again, and given that I have accomodated changes with little to no warning for the last 6 months, I have put my foot down and said that enough is enough.  I have rearranged my life and schedule enough and it isn't going to happen anymore.  Sadly this means that Ianto and Anouke don't get to see him much - they have been spending an hour or so at a park with him in the afternoon, which to be honest leaves them more upset than if they just didn't see him.  The other side affect of this is the fact that I am REALLY over being touched all. the. time.  Anouke being a bit restless on the boob I can usually handle but at the moment it drives me insane.  Ianto is actually quite even tempered, but the demands on me to get them food, get them drinks, wipe their bottoms...

It is still a million times better than being in the relationship though, so we soldier on.  I think we might try getting out of the house a bit more, go to the park a couple of times a week if the weather permits - which it has been lately.  It is cold, but not pouring all day or anything most of the time.

Planning a trip to Hastings caves soon to swim in the thermal pool with our gentle parenting/homeschooling friends which will be fun.  The last half of the year is always busy for us as all of the birthdays in the family seem to fall between the end of August and Ianto's birthday at the start of February.  That is a lot of birthdays crammed into a few months!  This year is super busy because the small people and I are planning a holiday, my cousin is getting married and then Sis is back from overseas, not to mention friends from the UK visiting Mum and Dad and Younger Sis coming home for a week and all the usual birthday/christmas stuff...  It is exhausting just thinking about it, but a very satisfying, happy exhaustion!

trying a new tack

Lately Anouke is starting to assert herself more.  She has discovered the word "no" and is not afraid to use it!  This has lead to a fair bit of conflict with her brother and a lot of shouting.  I got sick of shouting to make myself heard and really, the situation was just escalating every time I stepped in.  So I stopped stepping in.  And you know what?  They are sorting things out themselves.  There is a fair amount of screaming still, but I think they are starting to learn valuable life skills.  Things like negotiation, taking turns and respecting each others boundaries are all being learned and I'm not having to do much.  Another plus is that the laundry is getting done because I hide in the laundry when it gets too loud.
Ianto has had another developmental leap this week and can now write his name and a range of numbers.  He was very proud of his success and copied words for a whole day.  I think he is now having a processing break from writing as he works on his washing up skills.

A productive day today

Today was supposed to be craft day in the hall attached to my unit, but the vomit fest seems to have travelled around to every one else this week!  I have had a productive day anyway, got the house cleaned and vacuumed, some washing done, I have pork belly cooking slowly in the le crueset on the stove top and beef stew with lentils in the slow cooker.  The pork belly is in water with orange zest and juice, cinnamon, allspice, salt, cardomon and cloves and after it has cooked in that for a while I will stick it in the fridge to cool down overnight and tomorrow roast it in the oven for our dinner.  Will probably have some cabbage and granny smiths with it, yum....
Anouke is officially out of night nappies at the ripe old age of 18 months - for ages she was waking up in a dry nappy and I got sick of giving myself more washing lol.  Ianto has finally - at the ripe old age of 4 - done the same thing, so no more night nappy washing for me!  Unfortunately Anouke hasn't yet figured out that wee belongs in the potty even though she is aware of needing to wee and can hold on so I spend a fair bit of time cleaning up messes but it could be worse.
After looking at my finances and doing up a budget I have discovered it should be fairly easy for me to save enough over the next 5 years - if I leave my money in a couple of term deposits - for me to be able to buy a block of land outright.  It is a dream of mine to be able to build a little cob house for myself and the small people and being able to do it without getting the banks involved would be brilliant.  It is going to be hard enough getting planning permission to build with cob, I doubt very much a bank would be willing to give me finance for it!